[photos by roxana b photography]

recently i found out that i was on the receiving end of some negative comments on a website that allows people to anonymously bully and belittle people who have a blog and/or social media profile.  all of the comments were by one particular woman who had stumbled across some images that both myself and a particular clothing company had both posted on both of our instagram feeds when we had done a project together.

as i read through the comments, i couldn't believe how unapologetically rude this person could be.  but that's the internet for you.  as much as i LOVE social media and the world wide web, i absolutely hate the loathsome and downright nastiness i causes people to think they are entitled to inflicting on others. 

we women are incredible yet, there are times when we all have our insecurities and in turn focus the negativity we currently experiencing on those who seem to currently have what we are lacking.

why is that?

why do we allow our insecurities to take over and transform us into moms who bully other moms; believe that if we nit pick how someone is dressed, how they look in a picture, how they raise their kids, how they decorate their home, etc. etc. etc. etc.  we will somehow feel better about ourselves.

speaking from experience, i know it never makes me feel better about myself when i think things like that.  i only feel worse.  much worse.

so, how do we rise above?  how do we

stop the cycle of bullying

in those moments when life isn't going quite the way we expected?  how do we focus on uplifting others instead of pushing each other down?

i'm definitely no expert.  but here are my thoughts on ways to stop bullying.

1) be a cheerleader to the women around you.  this can be hard to do at times but will come back to you 10 fold.  and before you know it, you'll have your own incredible support system.

2) focus on the good.  there are a lot of things in life that go wrong.  but there is also a lot that goes right.  focus on that and you'll be amazed at how quickly you forget about all that is going wrong.

3) serve.  when you willingly choose to help another person out, especially one that you may not particularly care for, your heart changes.  grows.  and soon enough, not only will you genuinely love and care for those around you, but you will feel the same way about yourself too.

4) realize that we all have our own strengths.  as much as i wish i could do it all.  i can't.  so i focus on the things i am good at and turn to help from others for the things i am just not able to do.

5) throw out first impressions and believe in second chances.  none of us are perfect.  and i know that we have all had a moment when we came across the wrong way to someone.  so be kind and be patient.  and, even if you will never be friends with or like certain people and the things they do, greet them with a smile and friendly hello if you see them in person, wish them well in your heart, and get on with your life.

i am far from being perfect.  we all are.  but one thing i strive to be perfect in is the way in which i treat others.  because the last thing i ever want to be remembered as, that girl with a judgmental heart and eternal stick up her you know what.  

so here's to us all doing our best to not be THAT girl and ending female bullying together.

ps, i listen to, read, and refer to THIS TALK quite a bit, and it's always helps.


  1. Yes, I never understand why women can be so mean. I had a "friend" give me a verbal sideswipe the other day and it was so unexpected I couldn't believe she had actually said something that rude right to my face. By the time I figured out I'd been insulted, the moment was past and I was still lost for words. I usually just avoid people like that.

    1. I hate when that happens Adrian. Hopefully things get better between you and that person.