recently here on mumsy, i've talked about swimming suit anxiety and believing that your body is hot stuff not because i think the world needs to hear what i have to say, but because it is something that always seems to be on my mind this time of year.  don't get me wrong, i love my body.  but whenever i see a commercial, magazine article, or report on E! News that shows images of beautifully tan and lean swim suit ready bodies, that once small inner voice of self doubt turns into a roaring lion and i some times find my self instantly wishing that certain aspects of my body were more like the ones i am seeing on t.v.  even though i know those bodies have been digitally slimmed, enhanced and smoothed out.  

last fall, i had my sweet baby Bug.  and life instantly went into hyper drive.  i thought two kids was hard until i had three.  i had jumped head first into the deep end of the motherhood pool and was barely keeping my head above water. moments of time that i once had to sit down and eat a decent meal, bathe, sleep, and even get dressed for the day, had been obliterated.  and it wasn't until this spring that i realized how distant my once somewhat healthy life style i was trying to live had completely been buried by the complete chaos that comes with having three young children.  so instead of sticking to eating fruits, veggies and whole grains, i was eating endless amounts of processed food that was easily accessible and quick to scarf down.  and, deny my body much needed beauty rest because i would stay up late to play catch up on my endless 'to-do' list or mindlessly youtube music videos at 11:00 P.M. because I was finally getting a chance to have some down that wouldn't be interrupted by my kids.  

after doing these things for months on end i noticed that i was trying to catch my breath when i'd reach the top of a stair case or would near migraine-like head aches that were easily triggered and long lasting.  not to mention that i was becoming a cranky and easily offset borderline beotch! 

 as a mother, one of the things i want for my children, is for them to live a long and prosperous life.  but, if i'm not modeling that myself, how are they ever going to know what to in their own lives?  and, on that thought alone, i decided it was time to kick my nutella loving butt into gear, revive my now dormant healthy consciousness and become a more pleasant mother to be around.

working with my friends over at provo xtend barre and my health food idol aj jorgensen, i came up with a stellar month long work out and eating plan that helped me improve the quality of life i was currently living.  just a couple weeks into this new routine i instantly began to notice a healthier change taking over my mind, body, and soul.  but never being one for consistently working out and being oober aware of what i ate, i had more than a few falters and slip ups.  which really bummed me out because when i first started this health focused journey, i thought i was truly going to have the iron clad will power to completely transform the way i way i ate and even looked.

before i could allow that nasty, self depreciating inner voice ( who is a complete a-hole btw) to rear its ugly head.  i reminded myself that i was doing my best, and need to cut myself some slack; because no body, even the ones we all continuously see in the media, aren't perfect.

when i push all of the false and preconceived concepts of what the female body should and shouldn't look like, i realize what matters most to me is that i try harder than i did the day before, remain patient and kind to the body i have, and never stop believing that no matter what phase of the health cycle my body is currently in every inch of it is perfect from the bottom to the top.  and for me, that is the best motto i can instill in my children, especially my sweet birdie when it comes to how they should view their bodies.

plus, between you and me, there is absolutely no treble involved when it comes to what my husband likes about my body because that man is all about the bass and that's fine by me!

pictures by the talented suzy ahlman. an incredible teen blogger that i simply adore!

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