Guys, I want to talk today about sex. I know, just reading it can be uncomfortable. And now I'm going to suggest we talk to our kids about sex. Doubly uncomfortable, right!?! Well, as awkward as it can be I believe our society needs to make sex a open topic.
I've talked to many adults who learned about sexual intimacy from their childhood peers. I've also spoken to those who searched the internet for their sexual education. How do think that ended?
My personal experiences included education from my parents, peers, and teachers in a sex ed class. I remember how embarrassing it was for me to sit and watch a child birth video as a freshman in high school! Seriously a freshman in high school is a scary, vulnerable time. The boys in my class made jokes about this miracle of a process and at the time I felt embarrassed and so uncomfortable. Understanding the birth process was probably the least information I received that day. Instead I felt so embarrassed that the boys had seen and made fun of a special part of my body that I hardly understood.
Later in my college years I heard of a family who took a more proactive approach. When one of their children brought home a permission slip for sex ed one of the parents would call and ask the teacher for the material being presented. Then their family would learn the material at home first, together. I loved this idea because I think it can be so much more comfortable for kids to learn first from their parents. It creates a place for an open discussion and questions that may not be available in a school setting.
So from personal experiences and discussions with others I have come to believe that a shift needs to happen in our culture that we no longer gasp or giggle at the thought of discussing sex with our children. Their peers will not hesitate, I promise, so why should we? Porn is rampant in our society and I have seen family and friends devastated from it. So I am a HUGE advocate against it! I believe a step against guarding our children from pornography is by having open discussions about sexuality.
My son recently came home and was calling his brother a "boob". True story. I asked where he had heard it and you can guess where. I then asked what it meant. He had no idea. This was a great opportunity to discuss our bodies and how to appropriately talk about them.
This got me thinking. How do I start to talk to my kids? Is it the right time? What do I talk about, everything? (Cringe)
Parenting is a personal choice as well as the answers to all these questions. But if you're looking for some direction I'd like to recommend a series of books that are wonderful called "30 Days of Sex Talks". The series is written in three different book sets for three different age groups. I love this because I think when it comes to sex education age can be taken into consideration. Also content can be relevant. You're not going to discuss puberty with a three year old. One of things I love most about the books is how they address topics. Each topic has conversation ideas, questions to consider before the discussion, and sample discussion ideas.
Our bodies are amazing vehicles for life! And a natural part of our bodies are our sex and the sexual parts of our bodies. Sexual intimacy is amazing but I believe it also to experience to be savored and not given freely to any willing partner. If we can realize that this is normal and teach our children about how our bodies work it can protect them from sexual harassment, pornography, and crude views of sex. We as parents can start the shift in our culture. I challenge you all to consider the following questions:
1. Have you discussed sex with your child appropriate to their age?
2. Do you have a plan for teaching your children about sex?
3. Have you taught your children about pornography, age appropriate?
4. Have you taught your children about sexual predators?
5. Have you taught your children the difference between appropriate public and private affection?
6. Have you taught your children about their anatomy, age appropriate? Puberty, the difference between boys and girls?
7. Have you taught your children about respect and sex?
All of these topics are discussed in the books and I love how open the discussions are so I can think and decide what is right for my child and my beliefs. Check out the books, share your tips and what you have found successful below please. I feel so strongly about this I'd love to hear.
As always have an epic weekend.

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