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Over the past year, I have had countless people (strangers and those I know) mention to me that my kids have more energy than most kids they have met.  Maybe I should take offense to this, but in all reality I see it as an actual fact of life; because I too tell myself that daily!  My kids are W I L D!  So, whenever someone states the obvious to me, all I can do is laugh and say, "I know" because I fully agree with them.

Now, to the strangers who discuss this topic with me, I'm sure they are either thinking 

1) I feel for ya sister.
or 
2) This woman has no clue how to control her children.



Either way, I really don't care because I know that I am doing my damnedest and that's all that matters.  Heck, if my kids are alive at the end of each day and I at least remember my first name...I considered that a HUGE success.  Seriously!  When it comes down to it, whether we are young or old we are who we are and we all have our agency.  Though there are many things we can mold and shape within our personality traits, I fully believe that there are some things that can never be altered.  Liveliness being one of them.  SO...with that being said, how do we as mothers learn to love and accept the side of children that cannot be tamed?  For me, I do the following...




1) Frequently spend quality one-on-one time with each child; doing activities with them that help me to better understand they type of little human that they are.

2) Set boundaries so that my kids can better regulate their energy.

3) Re-correct any negative wild behavior.  Not all "wild" behavior is bad, but whenever the actions of my children negatively affect another person, I quickly step in to fix the situation if my children aren't able to do so themselves.



4) Let the little things go.  Kids will be kids; and if I worried or let myself get embarrassed by every little thing that my children did, my life would suck.

5) Love Love Love.  At the end of the day, what matters most is my kids knowing they are loved and accepted for who they are.

But, knowing how different each of us are, I understand that what I do may not work for you and your children.   So, I decided to reach out to some of the greatest mothers I know and have them too share what they do to love and accept the wild sides of their children.




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Jenn1. Make sure your child knows you love them no matter what. You love them even when they are wild; sometimes their behavior isn't exactly what you want, but they are loved. 2. There is a time and a place. It's great to let loose and be wild and free in the appropriate place. When we are playing animals in the basement great, when we are sitting in church maybe not the best time to let the inner wild animal out. 3. We often use the phrase "full of energy" in place of "wild". Being full of energy is a great thing! I wish I had more of this so called energy. If it is channeled in the right direction it will bless their lives now and be a huge benefit in their future. Energetic people are what make the world run. 4. In our family getting their "energy out" is a big deal. My boys thrive on physical activity. They NEED to run, jump, climb, and wrestle. Kids were made to move!



Jackie-Confession: motherhood does not come naturally to me.  Most people would think it did because when my third was born, my oldest was still 2 years old!  Being a stay at home mama was the hardest transition for me, and it didn't help that my oldest was, what you call, a strong personality.  It has taken me four years to find what works for her.  And she is now one of my best friends.  I discovered two things about her: 1. Both she and I need space from each other and  2. She responds well to music.  So one thing that really works for us is putting her in "quiet time" while my other two nap. We decided to make a CD for her, where she sat with me and chose music that she'd enjoy.  Mixture of fun music (Taylor Swift, Disney, and church).  It totals 1 hour and 20 minutes. She knows the last song is her cue to clean her room.  She also knows what my expectations are for her room being "clean." If she stays in her room the complete duration of the CD AND cleans her room, she gets fruit snacks and a show.  It's very routine and works for us. It took a lot of practice. A lot. 

Here's another thing I do (you can choose between above and below, or use both, whatevs!) When dinnertime came around, I knew we were going to have a fight. She HATED trying new things and I did NOT want to be one of those moms who made a second dinner that her kids could eat. So I created a sticker chart. In order to get her sticker to put on the chart, she has to try everything on her plate (not eat everything, just try). Once she fills a line of stickers, she gets a prize. I decided I didn't want to buy her anything special, so she gets to choose something like: stay up and watch one more show at bedtime, extra treat after dinner, etc. Or when it's time for a new toothbrush, or new underwear (something that I already have to get her), I make a big deal about it and say she gets to come with me and pick it out herself as a prize. The chart is hanging on the fridge where she can see it in clear sight during dinner time. Often times she didn't want to try everything and would cry when she didn't get her sticker. But after A LOT of practice and sticking to this, now when she doesn't want to try something, she looks at me and says "I know I'm not going to get my sticker, I'm sorry mom." However, sometimes she plugs her nose and sticks a tiny piece in her mouth and swallows and then happily runs to her sticker chart. Totally works.




Dezi-Alright! I personally feel like the wild side is so relative. I taught mild/moderate special education for 3 years and the concept of wild has a whole new meaning because of those incredible three years. My perspective on what my children do is very different because I've seen some pretty crazy kind of wilds! So I have to think about how I define wild...

A lot of times it's also really not about them being wild, it's more about my tolerance level and my mood for the day. If I've had a really rough day then their "wild" is totally different than what I could tolerate on a good day. I have to remember that some days I laugh at their behavior and some days I'm ready to head butt them for the exact same behavior. It's not them, it's me. And when that's the case I revert to my own coping mechanisms and practicing controlling my emotions and outer influences that make me miserable.

Also, sometimes their real wild (and not just my grumpiness) is a reflection of a need that they can't quite express. I know that when Coen gets so crazy that he literally acts like he's completely out of control, he'as actually exhausted and has passed the point where he can just stop and sleep. I'm familiar enough with his behavior that I can recognize what's just fun and games and what's an expression of a need. 

Echoing what Jenn already said (see above), I think it's the time and the place that's really important as well. I try to make sure they get the chance to let out energy, especially in the winter time when it's too cold or wet or frozen to get out and play. That means that the couch becomes the playground, because what else can we do right? I also try to time the energy releases a little. I know that if I've had a short night and it's been a long day, I make sure that we go somewhere or do something where they have the chance to release as much energy as possible, which hugely effects the rest of my evening and the bed time routine, which is by far the most exhausting part of mommyhood ever! 



Sarah-Ok. I Have Been Thinking a lot about your question!! It has been a struggle of mime, so I decided to find out why... why is it hard to deal with, accept, teach and cope with wildness? I am a perfectionist and want perfection in my home and how it's run. Then I had my son and that perfection slowly turned into acceptance of it is what it is. Now my boy is almost 4, and just as crazy as Ever! I find myself asking why a lot. Why are you doing this? Why are you acting like that? Me, being 28, and my little boy, being 3. He doesn't know why. He is learning. And it is my job to help him not only learn, but to teach. I am responsible for teaching and building and creating this little boy. I have learned that by reacting to his craziness, it just continues. Because I react. not always in the most peaceful way. And because he gets that rwaction, he continues to do whatever it is I paid attention to... so I'm working on fixing that!!

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And there you have it!  Five different responses on how you too can love and accept your children for who they are.  What do you think?  I would love to hear your view on this topic too, so feel free to respond in comments below.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend!


2 comments

  1. Your tips are spot on! Thank you for sharing this! As a teacher it was so easy to get frustrated by the kids that had more energy than most... but honestly (as you well know) it's just who they are! And trying to stiffle that isn't going to be good for EITHER of you. Learning to embrace it and make it work for you in the classroom (and at home) is key! Also teaching boundaries, and that there is a time and a place like Jenn said is so important. Love this post (as always)!

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  2. Thank you so much Cami! And can I just say a big AMEN to what you had to share?! You are one wise mama! XO

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