Oh man, tonight has been a rough night as far as my fast goes. Oh and if you have no idea what I'm talking about, as part of my New Years resolutions I have decided to give up something every month. I'm calling it Fasting For a Year, and you can read more about here. This month I have given up yelling at my kids. No big deal right? Wrong! It has been so tuff and at this moment my kids are driving me crazy.  
Today we decided to have a relaxed day. My hubby is off on Thursday so we usually get to have fun and party. Well today we wanted a day to do almost nothing. This means that the kids watched more TV than I'd like to admit and are like little firecrackers exploding with energy. All my lounging and watching Pawn Stars has come back and bit me in the... yeah.
So now that I have got that off my chest, I would like share a new way I am trying to help reinforce positive and discipline negative behavior. I'll call it the Behavior Friend. to make this more positive I decided to add a fun happy face on the green square. This idea was inspired by my moms clip behavior system that she uses in her class. She's a first grade teacher. I made it a dowel so I could carry it in my purse.
To make them, I painted dowel pieces I found in the craft section of a local store. You could buy long dowel and cut them if you had to. Paint the stick grey or black, red, yellow, green, and gold as pictured. You will also need a rubber band. Here's how it works:

Behavior Friend

The colors represent the child's current behavior. To know where the child's behavior is I have used a hair rubber band and wrapped it around the dowel. The rubber band is moved according to their behavior and rewarded at the end of the day.


Here's the color key:
Gold - Excellent and above and beyond - extra treat or privilege
Green - Good - dessert or treat at the end of the day
Yellow - Warning - still receives a treat with warning with how close their rubber band was
Red - Bad Behavior - does not receive dessert or reward at the end of the day
Grey or Black -  Unacceptable behavior - Loose a toy or an additional privilege
The Rubber Band

At the start of the day the behavior stick starts at green. As the child is good her rubber band stays on green. If the child misbehaves the rubber band is moved to yellow, then red, and black. If the child behaves appropriately enough you may choose to allow them to move their rubber band back up to yellow or green.
Gold and Black or Grey
These two are extremes. I am planning on only using these colors when children exhibit extreme behaviors. To move their rubber band to gold the child must be exceptionally good or perform tasks beyond what is required. For example my oldest decided her wanted to be helpful so he not only did his chore but then set the table, took out the trash, and cleaned up toys.
I plan on being consistent and have already realized that it may take some time for the kids to understand their consequences but I need something else. I also am going to try to be very consistent. Yelling, threatening, timeouts just drive me insane. Anyone else going as crazy as I am?
One last thought is this site, theorangerhino . I telling my friends about how I am striving not to yell at my kids and she referred this site. The site is all about not yelling at your kids. It has great ideas and support. So if you feel like you want to try a different approach at your parenting hopefully this behavior system or website can help.



  1. This is a good idea. One of my New Years resolutions is to stop yelling. I like that this is a good visual for the kids.

    1. Thanks Ashley. We are working on it, day by day.