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Hello Mumsies!

Hooray for my first post!! I'm so lucky to be in the position I am. I get to tell a little about myself & learn a lot from all of you! I can't wait to hear from you wonderful ladies!!

So, I have a secret. I have a "spirited" child! What do I mean by spirited? I'll tell you what! I mean that he has a lot of energy, A LOT of energy, & a lot of attitude all rolled into one! While I'm writing this post I'm concerned that there will be some of you who don't agree with what I say, or even might flat-out tell me I'm wrong. That's fine!! I can only offer advice from MY perspective. I realized very quickly that being the mother of a spirited boy can be very lonely & even sometimes (cringe) a fight. I wanted to write this post for the Mumsy who has this opportunity in her life & might just need a new perspective, help, or just some strength from a friend.


With that said, here is what I have to say about my crazy little boy! (Note: When I say crazy, I mean it in the most loving way!) Some people might classify a spirited child as one with autism, ADD, ADHD, OCD, etc... We do not have a diagnosis for our little bundle of energy, & we might not ever, but we try to make the best out of every moment with him & have the most positive perspective possible. (Sometimes we don't & that's okay too!) I noticed that any child in this scenario might feel like an outcast, different, or even stupid sometimes. Nothing could break a mother's heart more!! The most unfortunate part of that is that people who don't them will try to classify them with unsolicited advice. I know that they think they are helping with such advice, but you never know what strides a mother & father have already taken, nor do you know how many other "helpful" tips they have gotten already that day. I don't mean to push anyone away. I just want to say to anyone who tells me what I should be doing really should just try to be supportive. I think I'm smart. I know my son. I love him more than anything. I will get him the best support I can possibly give, no matter the personal cost! That's all you should know. If I need your advice I WILL ASK!

When I first started to notice his personality was overpowering the other kids he played with, a friend referred a book to me that changed my whole perspective. This book is the reason for my post being titled what it is. I think we all underestimate the power we have over our own thoughts & emotions. The book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurchinka has really had an impact on the way I look at our situation. In it, the author explains that these children are simply programmed differently than the "rest" of us. It says that we would admire these characteristics in adults, but it's hard for us to grasp the fact that such a big personality can live inside such a tiny body. It simply states that our kids are "wired to be MORE". When I first read that I had tears in my eyes! Finally, there was an intelligent place I could turn for comfort & learning! I would recommend this book to any parent, but especially to one with a "spirited" kid!

Click here to read reviews & order this book on Amazon!


Now! For all of you Mumsy's that are looking for some tips, I would love to share some from my perspective.

1. Keep them busy!

In our house we have stations everywhere you look. They are tables full of thing I want him to learn or things he gravitates to that peek his interest. Our stations consist of art, puzzle, writing, reading, math & anything else he is into that day, (Trust me, it changes all the time!) The important thing to remember while making your stations is to consider the clean-up! I know that houses with the happiest little ones are usually among the messiest! But, helping them learn organize is one of the best things we can teach our most spirited kiddos. Our stations are all able to fit in a small bin or stack. If there is paint, we put the colors in weekly pill containers, if there is clay, it goes into an ice tray with plastic wrap on top. If there is any kind of writing the station we have a chalkboard or dry erase board. The key is that everything should be able to fit into a small space so Mommy doesn't lose her mind!

2. Accentuate the positive.

Make sure that every task you give them, every chore they do has a small part that they know well. For example; on little bear's chore chart we have things that may be a tad bit challenging for the spirited child. But, they are things that are essential for his growth. I have learned that he needs a great deal of encouragement because he tells me quite often that "everything is hard". So we include something he loves doing. (Vacuuming, feeding pets, picking vegitables, etc.) Your child may have completely different interests. I know you can find one that they will do everyday without fail. Do this so that they can be praised while they are learning to do harder things.

3. Make time for your relationship with them.

I know! It seems like a silly thing to say! But with an extraordinarily energetic babe, it can be quite draining. I know how constant the battle is. I have yelled & cried & threatened. I have been exhausted to the point of hysteria. Now, if I feel that coming on, it is a necessity to take a moment, breathe, & tell him I love him. Now, if you know me, I'm not perfect. I am far from perfecting this one. But it does provide solace remembering why I work so hard to keep his life up to speed with his process! I love this boy & would give anything to make sure his life is good!

4. Help their teacher!

Make sure they are aware of your situation before the school year even starts. You don't have to recite your story in great detail. You only need to ensure that the teacher is aware & looking out for your sweet babe. I feel that this applies to church teachers, soccer coaches, dance instructors & anyone appointed to assist them in learning. Be open to suggestions. Volunteer in the class as much as they will let you. Most importantly though, fight for them! If they are struggling, unhappy, or feeling left behind it is alright change the situation & find the right fit. If you decide that this is the best choice please note that it just might not be the right fit. It may not have anything to do with the teacher. If it does, tread lightly. Remember that these are all just people trying to do their best.

5. Play, play, play

I have learned that the most important thing I could teach this crazy boy is to function socially. Proper sensory stimulation is the key! This one should be the easiest. We have so many friends with personalities as big as ours. I've noticed that he is at his best when he is happy & interacting with others in a healthy way. He learns the most at times he has a gauge for how others act in public. If they want to wear underpants over jeans along with swimming goggles & a cape, then so be it!

6. To medicate or not

This is the most sensitive subject for Mumsy's with kids like these. Some are all for it, some are not at all, & some are in between. Any of these are FINE! This is the part of having a spirited child that people like to judge the most. I feel that as long as you are on top of it & have a healthy routine, nobody knows better than you what your child needs. It is more than healthy to seek several professional opinions. I would also say that the best comfort I can get sometimes is from other mothers who are in my same boat. Remember that you are smart, you know your babe better than anyone!
The thing about having a child with an incredible mind is that you are the one who learns the most. You learn about your strengths, your weaknesses, your passions, your attitude & the ever-growing capacity to love another human being. With that said, I would love to open up the comment section to any Mumsy out there that has a really great suggestion. Mom's supporting other Mom's is what this blog is all about. Please remember that this is a sensitive subject & we need to stay positive. Any unsavory comments might be subject to deletion! I love all of you readers already. Let's lift each other up!!

Love you Mums already!!



2 comments

  1. I just love this post so much. Thank you so much for writing this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We are so glad you like this Brittany!

    ReplyDelete